I've Got Your Back

Last night my husband, Rex and I were walking our little Bichon Frise. In case you are unfamiliar with this breed of do, it is french for "little white sissy dog." We were out after dark and I was glad that Rex had joined Charisa and me on our evening excursion. (I have to be honest; "Becki" is French for "cowardly lion"). It was a nice evening and we were enjoying a quiet walk together after a busy day. As we were going down a dark side street several dogs started barking. I was relieved that they were all safely secured in their yards, or so I thought. Suddenly, out of the darkness dashes a barking pit bull. The next few minutes passed quickly.

I was able to squeak out a quick..."Rex!"

Firmly but quietly he ordered, "Becki, keep going!"

In a split second several thoughts went through my head..."But Rex....!

Everything with in me wanted to turn back to him and discuss our options...should I pick up Charisa or drag her? What about his safety? What was he planning on doing? Was he going to be OK? Was it our best option? Instead, I obeyed, tightened up the leash and walked "confidently" away from him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him turn and square up with the pit bull. The dog ran at him and circled away three times before it became intimidated and left him alone. By that time Charisa and I were safely down the street out of danger. Together the three of us walked home praising God for His protection.

I have thought about that encounter a lot this morning. What if I hadn't listened to Rex's instructions? To be honest, I'm not a very good listener. I like to get my two cents in, discuss things together, process information out loud, and make sure that he understands my point of view. However, there wasn't time for that last night. Rex said, "Go!" and I went. Why? Because I trust him. After thirty years of marriage, I know that this man has my best interest at heart. He was willing to "give himself up for me" (Ephesians 5:25) to protect me from the pit bull.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says: "Two are better than one, ....if two lie down together they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." (NIV)

This is a picture of two soldiers lying down at night to rest, positioned back to back with their weapons in their hands. In this way they could protect each other. Literally they could watch each other's back. What an awesome picture of marriage. In a healthy and safe relationship a husband and wife trust each other. Each partner knows that the other has their best interest at heart. Either partner is willing to sacrifice to meet the other's needs or to offer protection.

At times past hurts, betrayals, or disappointments deplete our trust in our partner. At other times we become disconnected from each other. Our conversation and thoughts are filled with "ME" and "MINE" rather than "US" and "OURS". However, intimacy can be restored. Hearts can be healed and trust can be rebuilt. The road back to intimacy in not easy and the journey takes time but restored intimacy is worth it. Peace and confidence flow from a heart that knows that your partner has your best interest in mind. Together you can rest in the knowledge that your partner "has your back". A husband and wife, united with God become a strong three strand cord.

Last night this lesson was dramatically illustrated in my life. I literally have a picture tucked away in my heart of Rex's back squared up against a pit bull as I scurry away. My prayer is that today and every day, through the ordinary events in life, I will remember that picture and know that Rex has my best interest at heart. If I can trust him with my life, then I can trust him with the daily happenings in my life. Rather than feeling that I need to protect my interests and defend my point of view, we can work together to protect our interests.

(This was an article I wrote for the Xenia Newspaper)